The Transfer Deadline Dildo Awards
The Daily Soccer brings you the inaugural, penultimate, and quite probably last Transfer Deadline Dildo Awards. Well, until January comes around.
Finally, the transfer window officially ends give or take a few loan stragglers here and there. Across all five European leagues we’ve seen 1,356 transfer deals at an accumulative value of £4.8bn.
But, who have been the winners, shakers, and fakers in this summer’s transfer turmoil?
Here’s The Daily Soccer Transfer Deadline Dildo Awards (sponsored by Jim White):
Biggest Net Spend: Brighton & Hove Albion - £153.6m
Lowest Net Spend: Manchester City - £115.8m profit
Most Expensive Player: Julián Álvarez - Man City to Atlético Madrid - £64.4m
“Most Income” from Player Sales: Chelsea €175m
Biggest Clusterf*ck Award: Burnley with 21 players outgoing and 15 players incoming, the majority in the last week of the window.
Poor Man’s Chelsea Award: Birmingham City breaking the League One transfer record spending £10m on Jay Stansfield and £30m in total.
Best Paid Player Nobody will be Watching: Ivan Toney who will be on close to £1million-a-week after his £40m transfer to Saudi Arabia from Brentford.
Who Needs an Agent Award: Victor Osimhen negotiated his own loan from Napoli to Galatasary with only an ‘intermediary’ to help him.
Double Transfer Award: Jóhann Berg Guðmundsson - released by Burnley at the beginning of June, the Icelander bumped into the Burnley chairman, Alan Pace, on a flight, who subsequently re-signed him. He then scored in his first home game back only to be sold the week after for an undisclosed fee to Saudi Pro League outfit, Al-Orobah FC.
Might Win them the League Coming Off the Bench Award: From Chelsea U21 Reserves to Arsenal - Raheem Sterling.
Any transfer dealings caught your fancy during this window?
Goal of the Day
While all of the defending is reminiscent of any child’s soccer match portrayed in the movies, English sixth-tier Worthing FC’s Danny Cashman scored this lung-bursting effort:
Game of the Day
There’s getting beaten by Liverpool at Old Trafford 3-0, and then there’s doing this:
Strike of the Day
As in industrial action as opposed to a 30-yard thunderblaster. Spanish coaches are threatening to down bibs and cones over non-payment after being sacked. Might not be the biggest picket line. (Marca)
Stat(s) of the Day
Analysis of the Day
Arnie Slot on how Liverpool beat Manchester United without mentioning Casemiro…
Disciplinarian of the Day
Hansi Flick has been laying down double training sessions - and the law - at Barcelona. After scolding one member of the first team in front of players and staff for being ‘stuck to the sheets’, the second person late to training was given a ‘tunnel of slaps’ = that person being Lamine Yamal. (Mundo Deportivo)
Quote of the Day
“You know how Americans are, everywhere we went we were greeted with 'Hello guys.' On the third night someone on the team asked me 'How the hell do they know that we're GAIS?' I knew then that it would be a long year.”
- Alexander Axén, manager of GAIS on their 2009 training camp in the US.
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