Own[er's] Goal! The Hilarious Game of Boardroom Blunders
Can you, a lowly armchair fan, find the right owner to take your team from relegation fodder to title contenders? Build a new stadium, fire staff, or price out seniors - the choice is yours!
Theme: You're a fan of a struggling football club, sleeping giant, or club with untapped potential. The current ownership is a mess, or eager to sell, and your goal is to navigate the chaotic world of potential new owners and find the one who will actually improve the team or milk the club for all it’s worth and leave you languishing in mid-table or flirting with relegation.
Objective: Be the first to reach the "New Owner" space on the board with the owner character card that best suits your chosen strategy (wealth, competence, fan favorite, or leveraged private equity psychopath).
Components:
Player Tokens: Miniature footballs or club crests.
Owner Character Cards: Each card represents a potential owner, with stats for wealth, competence, fan favor, and unique abilities or drawbacks based on the image (e.g., "Autocratic State" can change rules, "TV Chef" has random events, "Crypto Bro" experiences volatile value swings, “American” desperate to tap the club and tap the States).
Event Cards: These trigger unexpected events like stadium malfunctions, PR disasters, or surprise investments.
Fan Favor Tokens: These track your popularity with the supporters. Some owners will gain or lose favor depending on their actions.
Dice: Used for movement and event resolution: two 12-sided representing all teams and two automatic promotions from the Championship, and one six-sided that counts double representing the ‘Big Six’.
Gameplay:
Choose Your Strategy: Each player selects a secret goal: maximize owner wealth, competence, or fan favor.
Starting the Search: Players begin on the "Current Owner" space (likely a "Well-Meaning but Incompetent" character).
Taking Turns: Players roll dice and move along the board, landing on different owner types.
Owner Encounters:
Draw an Owner Character card for the space you land on.
Resolve any abilities or drawbacks associated with the owner.
Decide whether to keep the owner or continue searching.
Events:
Land on an event space and draw a card.
Events can affect your fan favor, finances, or even move you to a different owner.
Reaching the New Owner Space: The first player to reach this space with an owner that aligns with their chosen strategy wins.
The Fans Decide: Players with the highest fan favor tokens get a bonus, as the supporters have a final say in the ownership decision.
Additional Ideas:
Negotiation: Allow players to trade Owner Character cards or Fan Favor tokens.
Secret Objectives: Some players could have hidden goals like "sabotage the club" or "get the most media attention."
Hidden Identities: Some Owner Character cards could have secret identities revealed later in the game.
It's perfect for Everton fans and anyone who enjoys football's off-field drama!
Stolen in its entirety from loosely based on David Squires’ cartoon strip:
And in keeping with the board game theme….
In Other Soccer News
Transfers: Who do you blow all your money on?
All global transfers in July so far (BBC)
All global transfers in June (BBC)
The Guardian’s interactive transfer thing.
Fan Reaction of the Day
It’s time for your annual American summer tour. What viral moments can you come up with to stop people talking about those FFP rules you keep breaking?
Youngest Club Owner of the Day
At 25, Kylian Mbappé becomes the main shareholder of SM Caen. Can you emulate him? (LeParisien)
Performance of the Day
You’ve managed to secure some fancy-looking wine brand with a James Bond vibe, and need to capture their brand voice while having a player tie-in:
Giggs is obviously a natural. Wayne Rooney…..tried.
Roof Fix of the Day
Sick of the taunts from Premier League minnows about their decrepit amphitheater, Manchester United are floating the idea of a new 100,000-capacity stadium. But who exactly will (or should) wind up paying for it? (Goal.com)
Move forward ten places if you can forge a public / private partnership with Keir Starmer!
Goal & Goalkeeper of the Day
Your prize asset up-and-coming young starlet is only 16 and scores a ‘worldie’ in the 87th minute for River Plate against Sarmiento.
But, can anyone tell us what on god’s green earth the keeper was doing?
Is Franco Mastantuono really that good, or did you bung the keeper a wedge to inflate his value?
Stat(s) of the Day
Teams with the most transfer income over the last decade:
Can you join the ranks?
Quote of the Day
“Football has a lot to do with culture and rituals. Football is more of a decelerating element. However, we need to grow. Ultimately our competitor is not Real Madrid, but Netflix. Or another leisure activity. We have to ensure that the new generation remains interested in football.” - Carsten Cramer, CEO of Borussia Dortmund.
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