From Penalty Hero to Pragmatic Plodder: Gareth Southgate, Nevermore
Gareth Southgate, England's most successful manager since Alf Ramsey, has resigned, and Gregg Berhalter is the only name not in the frame. Thank heavens for small mercies...
Bloody hell, Gareth. You could’ve left it another day. But fair play. Some of the soccer you’ve served up, especially in this tournament, has been criminally dull.
There are glass eyes the world over that may never awaken again. People asked you to take the handbrake off, but instead you took the wheels off, hoisted it onto some cinder blocks and put sugar in the gas tank.
There’s no denying this is a very impressive record on paper:
And yes, England may never be this successful again, but the general consensus is that England should’ve won the 2021 Euro final against Italy, and done better against Croatia in the 2018 World Cup semi-final.
What could’ve been with a dash more derring-do? That Kyle Walker throw-in that found its way back to Pickford from Spain’s final third that ceded all momentum after Palmer’s equalizer, Gareth? Such a tiny, irrelevant detail, but that moment summed up Southgate-ball to perfection.
But, there’s no doubting you’re a decent bloke, and you’ve shown considerably more class than some fans have shown you:
"As a proud Englishman, it has been the honour of my life to play for England and to manage England. It has meant everything to me, and I have given it my all. But it's time for change, and for a new chapter."
“The squad we took to Germany is full of exciting young talent and they can win the trophy we all dream of. We have the best fans in the world, and their support has meant the world to me. I'm an England fan and I always will be. I look forward to watching and celebrating as the players go on to create more special memories and to connect and inspire the nation as we know they can.”
“Thank you, England - for everything.”
Anyway, onwards and upwards.
Literally every man, woman and dog is in the running. Like over 70.
These are the most popular as of writing:
No Gregg Berhalter, though. Worth a cheeky bid?
LAST EURO 2024 Round-up
How on earth did Walker worm his way in there?
Lamine Yamal wins goal of the tournament.
LAST COPA America Round-up
No Messi?
Excellent review of the tournament from ESPN.
In Other Soccer News
Transfers:
The Guardian’s interactive transfer thing.
Stat(s) of the Day
Spanish seismographs when Spain scored during the final:
Southgate’s tournament record by team rankings:
Against Top 10 Opposition :
1 Win (Netherlands Euro 2024)
1 Draw (Italy Euro 2020 (Lost on Penalties))
4 Losses (Belgium x 2 WC2018, France WC2022, Spain Euro 2024)
Against Top 11-20 Opposition:
4 Wins (Senegal WC 2022, Germany Euro 2020, Denmark Euro 2020, Croatia Euro 2020)
3 Draws (Colombia WC 2018, Switzerland Euro 2024 (Both Won on Penalties), USA WC 2022)
1 Loss (Croatia WC 2018)
Against Opposition 21 and below:
9 Wins (1 AET)
3 Draws
0 Losses
Lionel Messi has become the most decorated player of all time with 45 trophies.
Percentage of people who have an interest in soccer and ranking in relation to other sports by country:
Brazil - 91 - 1st
Spain - 85 - 1st
Italy - 82 - 1st
Mexico - 81 - 1st
UK - 80 - 1st
South Africa - 77 - 1st
Germany - 76 - 1st
Poland - 76 - 1st
France - 72 - 1st
Netherlands - 72 - 1st
Sweden - 72 - 1st
Austria - 71 - 1st
Switzerland - 66 - 1st
South Korea - 62 - 1st
India - 57 - 2nd
Finland - 56 - 2nd
China - 50 - 2nd
Japan - 42 - 2nd
Australia - 37 - 3rd
Canada - 35 - 5th
USA - 27 - 5th ← would love to see the demographic breakdown.
Analysis of the Day
Well worth a watch:
Quote of the Day
“[…] I want to end this by saying: - when, after last day’s match, the English captain raised in both hands the Jules Rimet, the Raven of Edgar Allen Poe declared to the journalists: - ‘Nevermore, nevermore!’ And, as a matter of fact, as the other Cups will be played in neutral field, never more will England be able to impose their football without imagination, without art, without originality.[…]” - - Nelson Rodrigues’ curse on England after winning the 1966 World Cup
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It’s hard to sort out counterfactuals like that, but I will agree that southgate is an awful coach
I just haven’t seen that consensus, in fact the exact opposite. Most of the coverage seems to match my feeling of the game: England scores after a couple of minutes and parks the bus, frustrating Italy, that eventually sorts out how to get through, creating high quality chances. England only wakes up briefly in extra time. Just about every stat bears this out. I am genuinely curious if the English media didn’t see it this way, because if so, the team has worse problems than southgate.